Friday, April 6, 2012

Nutritional Harrassment: Is Your Boss Making You Fat?


Most of us can pick healthy items from a menu. Eating well gets a little harder if you are not the one doing the “picking” and things enter especially dicey territory when the “orderer” is your boss. Wednesday I was interviewed for an upcoming story in Weight Watchers Magazine  about lunch and the issues one faces when trying to be healthy in the workplace. Oftentimes, it can feel as though there are two choices healthy or keeping things harmonious but I don’t feel it has to be one of the other. So, what do you do if your boss suggests a steak lunch or pizza for “the team”?

  1. Supplement versus Squabbling there are times “I don’t eat pizza” isn’t going to be well received. Suggest a healthy addition. For example “can we order a green salad with the pizza?” Chances are others will partake once it’s there and may have just been nervous to say anything. Once food arrives you can have salad and a little pizza or just salad if you so choose.
  2.  People look at what you order not what you eat (for the most part) when your boss invites you for a glass of wine or steak lunch, sometimes you can “go along” and if you’re not interested in what’s in front of you, you can control calories by sipping or nibbling rather than finishing.
  3. Emily Post Could Order What She Wanted and flattery may get you somewhere. “That looks amazing but I’m going to try the fish” or “Thank you so much for the invitation but I need to get some work done”.
  4. Doctors Orders whether it’s reflux or cholesterol if someone can try to steamroll you into eating junk you can push back with “I’m not allowed to eat short ribs with my cholesterol level”. At times little white lies are better than lots of white food.
  5. Befriend a Broccoli Buddy or an Unsweetened Union- you don't want to be the onlyseemingly squeaky wheel or rotten apple. Instead, seek out like minded coworkers and rely on each other for positive reinforcement or as a buffer between the boss.
If these strategies sound a little manipulative, think about what’s involved with using your power to coerce someone into eating or drinking the way you do.  With some forethought “promotion pudge” is avoidable. And kudos to the bosses out there encouraging employees to exercise and eat well. In my opinion, that’s power put to good use.
 Have you ever been in a work situation where your "superiors" pressured you to eat or drink things you didn't want to? What did you do? Ever experienced nutritional harrassment?

22 comments:

  1. Aaah this is a post after my own heart. Everyone in my office feels compelled to comment on my lunch on a daily basis (mostly, just the fact that I bring it each day is "cause for concern"). I actually had a comment on my review that I need to try and socialize more and maybe go out to lunch with the girls once in awhile! Because that's part of my job performance? Sigh.

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    1. And the message is healthy is antisocial, sigh and part of being a "team player" is taking one (burger, pie, cookie) for the team? I say, maybe you turn the tables and offer to make lunch for a few coworkers in order to socialize.

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  2. This is a really interesting post Lauren. As you know, I'm not really the healthiest person. I'm interested and I think I'm fairly informed, but I don't seem to have a ton of willpower (or any at all). It's hard to work in a place where the unhealthy food is always in your face. My last job had cookies or muffins or bagels in the staffroom room every single day.

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    1. First, you do seem healthy to be Stephanie. Second, I wonder if it's different if there's food lurking versus being encouraged/pressured to eat it.

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  3. I love where I work! There's also a lot of food here. We get lunch every Wednesday - one person picks the restaurant for the office. Normally, everyone picks their own order. In the case of a buffet or pizza, you can choose not to eat. Someone picked a catered fried chicken (!) dinner on Ash Wednesday. I suggested she add fish to the order, she did and that was a hit. Point is, she was really open to it when she was asked.

    We get fancy doughnuts every Friday and as I was typing this comment, the CEO sent an email saying he had brought in McDonald's breakfast sandwiches for everyone. We also rip through millions of dollars of candy every year. On the flip side, I can suit up at 4:00 and go for a three-mile run with their blessing. Ditto for church services & funerals, by the way. I've also begun leading a couch to 5k program with two other co-workers. We've got seven runners with us! So while I have to wade through a little cholesterol, I try to think of it as exercising my self-control. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose.

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    1. lots of good examples Caron. Even with the group ordering I find sometimes there's an urge to eat more but I guess that's another post. I love you "supplementing" the unhealthy order. Anyone can bring anything in as long as the "agenda" isn't everyone has to eat it. Well done with couch to 5K. And again, I think in a cordial, supportive environment it's easier to navigate.

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  4. I just helped launch a website and there were days upon days where we were there early in the morning til well past nine at night; breeding grounds for BAD nutritional office behavior. I am STILL working on getting the lbs I gained back in the winter off for spring. I wish I would have put some of your ideas to the test, but there was a lot of STRESS eating and I am convinced that my stressed out mind and body helped me to hold on to that weight, too! Offices are just SO unhealthy. GREAT post, Lauren!

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    1. yes Carrie for sure the combo of work stress and a body underrested and overfed is a vicious cycle. Oftentimes better to first work on sleep and stress and then food decisions.

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  5. I had this problem come up often when I worked in a team environment, (working from a home office might be lonely, but the days I am home the lunch is uber healthy!). I was always feeling ostracized because I didn't accept the cake. Every week there was a freakin' birthday and every week I refused the cake. Why add that to my day when I am not even friends with the person? My birthday = cake. Co-worker = no cake. It got to the point of being a cause for anxiety. But eventually people grew to accept it and when my bday rolled around they brought in fruit and yogurt! haha. I always say that you have every right to control what goes in your body and not feel guilty about it. I think the trick, as you point out, is to say it with aplomb so as not to offend. Now I also use the "allergy" card. It works.

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    1. LMAO Cameo, why "celebrate" with sugaring it up for someone you don't even like? Great point. I have more of a solitary lunch experience now but the worst work environment ever was when I worked in a hospital. The RD's made fun of my lunches and the fact that I brought food with me as they ate junk and advised people on diets for diabetes. Go figure.

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  6. Personally, I'd like to confront the core issue: that people who make healthy choices are seen as "squeaky wheels" and "rotten apples." Perhaps it's the activist in me, but there is a place for my values and I'd rather just say "No thanks" to the pizza. Is it just me, or are we being asked to bow to dominant and troublesome ideologies about social gatherings and food?

    I fully understand that the workplace is tenuous (at best) for implementing grand changes, but this kind of discussion makes me feel dirty and ostracized instead of just....me.

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    1. Love the passion Amy and in general, I eat how I wish to and feel totally comfortable politely refusing things. However, it gets fuzzy when the food pusher is the person paying you (thus title i chose). You can't use power to have someone sleep with you but you can to make them drink and eat and put them in a position where "no thank you" is frowned upon. It would be great and I've seen it recently where meeting food is made healthier and vending options changes and leadership is helping employees make good choices BUT those still feel like exceptions. I am in no way supporting pizza pressure but since it exists, how can we best navigate it? I'd say everyone needs Amy Danger with them to be more vocal. Great feedback thank you.

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    2. You're right to raise the million dollar question: "How can we best navigate (food pushing)"? Just recently I traveled with several colleagues to a large convention for our discipline (English Composition instructors). None of my colleagues have a lifestyle remotely close to mine and normally this wouldn't bother me as much but on this trip, I felt completely alone. I felt alone when they came in from the bar at 3am and I woke up at 5am to eat breakfast and head to the gym. I felt completely alone when I would eat my packed meal while they all went out to eat. Even when my hotel roomie and I went to the local market two blocks down, every time she grabbed something off of the shelf she said "I know this isn't the BEST thing for me to eat, but..." and I wanted to scream "I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU EAT! YOU DON'T HAVE TO QUALIFY YOUR CHOICES AROUND ME!"

      I know you've written about these subjects before, but I still can't answer the big question in a way that feels true to me but also keeps the peace between myself and my colleagues. I feel like no matter what I do or say, I am *naturally* different and it's so obvious to them - it's as if the simple way I live, my existence alone, is an affront to theirs. And so my experiences have made me righteously angry and I want to believe it's ok for me to say I don't eat pizza and I don't drink beer and that doesn't make me weird, it just makes me someone who has made a choice that is best for her. So I live unabashedly and I find power in it but, sometimes, I go to bed at night secretly missing my old friends who want nothing to do with social gatherings unless there's food or alcohol. I miss them, not their lifestyle - but I can't get close to them anymore. I can't get close to my colleagues.

      Any readers have advice?

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    3. The only food pusher in my life is my MIL and that is mostly out of an old-fashioned sense of being a gracious hostess, so I am the last person qualified to advise. Also, usually this is the sort of thing where I say the wrong thing 100% of the time. It's just that I know someone who was a part of our running club. She has set standards on what she eats, how long before she will exercise, how much she consumes, what is acceptable and unacceptable, etc. I've noticed that she would make herself the odd man out - can't go down the block with everyone else for breakfast because she would never eat a bagel. What she doesn't realize, because she's never gone, is that a full half of us also won't eat a bagel. We're just sitting around shooting the breeze.

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    4. Anonymous you bring up a good point (and anonymouses are usually angry commenters so I'm relieved). I think many who have commented feel their healthy food choices keep them separate from social situations and potentially some good times. I have definite views on what I like to eat and not eat. However, I'm also a pretty social person. As you mention, many people are more healthfully minded than we may think and I've been pleasantly surprised at places to see that there are delicious things I like to eat at a place I would never choose. I think part of being fully happy with eating and with life is not to life in a bubble making perfect choices but to make the best choices you can and do a little detective work. I don't eat wheat, I don't eat chicken that isn't organic, like my salmon wild etc but I don't feel this holds me back and I would hope for your running friend and Amy above it's not a choice between healthy and social.

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  7. At an old job my boss was constantly pushing her rugelach (sp?) and brownies on me. And I just had to say no! I don't do office sweets because once I start I just can't stop.

    People think I'm a harda$$ but that's okay. At least I don't feel gross at work!

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    1. I would take feeling good over caring what people think any day. And I do think sometimes it's easier to have a "no office sweets" rule than to try to monitor frequency.

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  8. Wonderful post LAuren. This is a serious issue. It's peer pressure...and we go through it EVERY DAY! NOt even just at work, but at parties and other events. My clients tell me they "Feel bad" not eating what is given to them, and almost 99% the food is not health-promoting. It's a shame.
    The break room at the store where I Work has a GIANT rack of Entemann's donuts and cookies right by the register. It makes me so ill. And all of our meetings come with candies and pop. IT just makes me SO MAD! Let's face it, our environment is toxic and is making the obesity epidemic worse :(

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    1. Ha, wrote more about our toxic environment today, different kind of toxic. I think boss pressure is the worst because there's the implicit "if you do this you will be a better worker" message. Gina, maybe make some suggestions for a bowl of organic fruit for meetings to supplement the crap?

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  9. I was never harassed into eating something I didnt want to. But I would get surprised looks from co-workers when I wouldn't indulge in pizza. We had pizza every time for this one weekly conference, so that adds up to a lot of surprised looks! And it wasn't even good pizza.

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    1. I think many people feel free and "there" implies you eat it. I totally agree, is it something you really want to eat? Something "worth it" and great tasting? Otherwise why bother?

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  10. OMG so I totally have this problem with friends now that I'm in NC and not sunny, skinny florida! Everyone wants really greasy fried foods and prefers to socialize over food vs. activities. Last night I felt like the biggest jerk in the world when I shot down my friends food choices. To be fair... they wanted 5 Guys Burgers or Buffalo Wild Wings.... neither of which has a healthy vegetarian option for me... I got "the look" and wanted to crawl into a hole

    I love this post -- and your suggestions for coping with the pressure of food choices!

    ummm and you need to totally email me back hooker =) I'll be in your neck of the woods next sunday-tuesday <3 MWAH!

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