Thursday, April 17, 2014

Top 10 Signs You Are An Instaslave

Off the bat I’ll say that I carefully consider my smoothie and juice ingredients so that the finished product will not only taste good but also so that it’s pretty. Greens in a carroty juice? Looks like sludge. And while I could lie and say I just like my food to be attractive, oftentimes I want it photogenic. And I’m not alone. I know this is the case because I read about a “tie dye smoothie” on Well and Good where you rinse the blender in order to make a multicolor final product hmn. Read the questions below to see if you are an “instaslave”:
  1. Do you find yourself hoarding reclaimed wood so that you can rest your edible creations on it?
  2.  Even though smoothies are consumed with a straw do you decorate the surface with gojis, kiwis and other camera-friendly foods?
  3. Do you get manicures so that those paws grasping your green juice or smoothie bowl will not detract from your pictures? Carolyn’s friend says the hashtag to used in these cases is #nailed it
  4. Do you request cappuccino art from your barista and snap coffee photos?
  5. Do you take selfies?  I mean do you take more than a few or who are we kidding more than 10 selfies until you get one you like? At an event when Snack Queen and I tried to selfie she told me she had the best "selfie "arms". 
  6. It actually seems the “shoefie” is the new selfie but true instaslaves probably know that up and coming is the “shelfie” for new book releases (for LBT we had the #lbtlookbook, I’ll admit shelfie more catchy).
  7. Do you race with friends to be the first to post something insta-worthy? OR are you like one of our fabulous Foodtrainers’ interns and make a pact with friends to stagger posts so that you’re not all duplicating each other?
  8. Do you strategically wait for those key times to post when you think you’ll get the most likes (Steph the  instaslave savvy intern informed me this was definitely a thing)
  9. Do you sulk when you start eating before capturing the “before” image of your meal?
  10. And finally, do you speak in #hashtags. Perhaps you even caught the Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake hashtag skit

Someone told me they had life envy for me I told them it definitely isn’t real life they were envying. I just hope I’m not guilty of #instabrag, I have to have good #instamanners.

Are you on instagram? Twitter or Facebook? How many on this list are you guilty of? Do you find this all silly or a little scary?

1 comment:

  1. Love this. Obviously I do number 7 and 8—the exact number of others I'm a slave to are between me and my instagram account. I did just paint my nails though...#nailedit

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